A couple of weeks back, during one of our occasional evening chats, Su was telling me about a book called "Time Enough for Love" by noted Sci-fi author: Robert A. Heinlein.

In this book, the main character Lazarus Long (who as part of a genetics rejuvenation experiment has managed to live over two thousand years) has a conversation, in which he states:-

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

Hmmm...well I can certainly do/have done a fair few of these, though admittedly it's been awhile since I helped butcher a hog and I've yet to conn a ship, design a building or die gallantly (how the hell would you do that anyway?).

I'm not sure I agree with Long's rationale or particular list, but it did get me thinking about what my own list of things a human should be able to do might include and why...and since my writin' time is limited (as is your readin' time), I thought I'd better limit it to 10 items max. You can take the diaper changing and cooking items from long's list as a given.

1. Make a fire - without the aid of any form of accelerant. Matches / lighter permissable but that's it. You should be able to otherwise build a fire from tinder, to kindling, right through to a hearty blaze, at least suitable for cooking.
2. Build a shelter - With the aid of simple tools such as a knife, hatchet or small saw. It should be strong anough to see you through a bad storm for a couple of days.
3. Communicate in a non-native language - doesn't have to be a spoken language - it could just as easily be something like sign language. And you don't have to direct a light opera or anything...the main criteria here is just to be able to communicate a few simple things ('hello', 'goodbye', 'please', 'thanks', 'what's for dinner?', 'where's the loo?' that kind of stuff) in a language that is not your native tongue.
4. Create something - paint a picture, write a poem or play, carve a piece of furniture, perform a dance, play a musical instrument, program a computer - whatever! Just something that occasionally allows you to make something, no matter how good, bad or intangible it may be.
5. Perform basic first aid - patch a cut, treat a burn, tie a splint or sling, stop bleeding, perform CPR and mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
6. Do basic maths in your head - add, subtract, multiply and divide basic integer values. How else can you be sure you get the right change in the shop, your tax return is correct or the interest payments on your loans are competitive?
7. Make something grow - from a lovingly tended Berkshire garden spanning acres, to a windowbox full or herbs in a council flat in Brixton. It's pretty easy and it's a great feeling. That of course includes your kids.
8. Look after an animal - know how to properly treat and care for a pet, whatever that may be to you. No matter whether your pet is a horse in a field, or a goldfish in a bowl, the important thing is knowing how to look after the pet and doing it.
9. Drive a vehicle / perform basic maintenance - applies to everyone who is physically fit and able enough to do so. You should be able to safely change a tyre, check all fluid levels and identifiy exhaust / emissions issues.
10. Make a reasoned argument - listen to both sides of a debated issue, and then be able to ask questions, analyse the answers and formulate an informed opinion. Know how to research an issue and how to verify sources. Be able to rationalise a short train of logical thought (be able to think from A to B to C)

...what would your list include?

You know it's funny...every time I think that Sir Humprey's snivil servants and the Whitehall worms can't possibly screw up anything else, I read another story which illustrates even more monumental failings.

The recent reluctant admission by the Ministry of Defense, that more than 100 USB memory sticks, some containing secret information, have been lost or stolen from the Ministry of Defence since 2004, is a new low in data protection balls-ups.

And if the memory sticks weren't bad enough, the MOD also admits that nearly 650 laptops have also been stolen from their offices in the same time period.

Of course the MOD didn't make this announcement voluntarily. If it hadn't been for Liberal Democrat MP Sarah Teather tabling a question in parliament, we probably still wouldn't know about it. Furthermore, the laptop figure at least only includes laptops identified as stolen...but not the number that have been lost (that probably needs another question).

And despite all the evidence to the contrary, the MOD continues to insist that it's security policies were "generally fit for purpose".

This comes only a couple of days after the Sunday Times and the Beeb both reported that there are now more than 1,000 laws and regulations which permit officials to force entry into homes, cars and business premises.

Does anyone out there still believe that:-

a) The government can be trusted with our personal details for use with ID cards?

b) Much of the more recent legislation, ostensibly created to "prevent terrorism" was indeed intended to do just that and is not intended to give the snivels ever more power over us peons?

If you answered "Yes" to either question, please send me your e-mail address, so I can reply with the name of a good shrink (or I can try and get you in on the ground floor of this great pyramid scheme I've heard about).

This probably goes some way to explaining why a growing number of us feel more and more like extras in some sort of bizzare Chaplinesque comedy...that happens to be in colour and have sound.

If we are really serious about defeating terrorism and simultaneously protecting human rights, the best thing we could do would be to box up all these arseholes and ship them to Iran, North Korea and Zimbabwe.

Within a month, they will have lost Mugabe's vote count tally's, Kim Il-sung's porn collection and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's nuclear blueprints. At the same time they will have introduced a whole raft of new laws which deny any form of privacy to the masses, who - since they aren't British - will rise up and kill them all.

...and the rest of us will live happily; if not ever-after, then at least for awhile.

Our new blog is finally online...albeit with only some of the previous comments at present (I'm still trying to get to grips with the new B2 blog software), but enough to be going on with...

Enjoy!

Photos now available - Check em out!

What can I say? A good gig (especially Sunday). Beautiful weather, excellent music from both classic and more contemporary acts. A little more commercial now that the Hard Rock cafe have taken over but not unbearably so.

All in all, a great weekend, spent with good friends in a pretty cool place.

Thanks folks!

Last night the Government hammered home the final nails in the coffin of the Planning application process, to ensure that the public no longer had any grounds for objection. And in their usual chicken-shit style, they have also fobbed off responsibility for the unpopular decisions to an unelected quango, in a vain attempt to sheild themselves from a voter backlash next election.

The process of disenfranchising the general public from the planning application process has of course been proceeding quietly, but steadily for quite some time now. Even back in 2003 when we were objecting to the building of a waste incinerator just 2 miles from where we live (and right next to grain fields, a primary school and shopping center), we found that many legitimate objections were largely ignored and over-ridden in order to serve the self-interests of both the developer and their lackeys on the Hampshire County council (our suppsed "representatives") and their application was largely railroaded through.

But at least we were permitted to formally object on health and safety grounds. Subsequent amendments to the planning process now exclude these as grounds for objection from the public (even members of the public who are acknowledged experts in the particular areas of concern). Now, the only grounds that the public can object to in the planning application of an unpopular development, are largely grounds of asthetics.

In a nutshell, your concerns about radiation from the proposed nuclear power plant, toxins from the incinerator or pollution from an airport or bypass are no longer taken into account...but you are permitted to pick the colour the developer will paint the buildings!

Yesterday, on Radio 4's "Today" programme, Planning minister John Healey attempted to spin his way out of the situation, by claiming that the public would retain "the right of consultation".

But what exactly does that mean?

Government: We are going to build a nuclear waste dump in your village
People: But what happened to our right of consultation?
Government: What do you think this is?

If these recent changes were likely to result in the approval of new wind or solar farms, new anaerobic composting facilities or other renewable energy/environmentally sound developments, I might be a little more enthusiastic. But sadly, I think that with the current medieval mindset of the senior civil servants who set policy, I think all we will see are more coal fired power stations, incinerators, toxic waste dumps and new airports coming online after sliding through a planning process as slick and slimy as a tapeworm's douche bag.

Communities Secretary Hazel Blears argued that developments which could boost the economy and Britain's energy security were being "clogged up" in "antiquated" planning processes.

All we can hope for now that the public is largely denied the right to object to anything, is that the next step in steamlining the process will be the resignation and suicide of the smarmy civil servants and politicans on the take.