Dear fellow voters,

I'm sure you enjoyed (as I did) watching the worms at Whitehall squirm as they got their arses roundly kicked in the Crewe and Nantwich by-election yesterday, as they also did in the recent local elections.

I'm certainly no fan of either the government or the Labour party in general, but before we start down the road of handing the next election to the Tories, let's take a quick stroll down amnesia lane...to the last Tory-held government of 1990 to 1997...

(insert squiggly line scene fade and surreal music here)

Let's not bother to look at the appalling mess Thatcher created with the Poll tax and her subsequent ousting from No. 10 by Tarzan and co...which eventually backfired and dumped the Prince of Greyness, John Major on an unsuspecting electorate. Let's forget that Major simply changed the Poll tax to be property-based (so it could be enforced) and rebranded it as "Council tax" before selling it back to the ever-gullible British public.

In the 7 years that Major and his cronies ruled the country:-

• The country was plunged into the worst recession for years following the events of Black Wednesday, thanks mostly to Major's chancellor of the Exchequer who wasted billions of pounds in a futile attempt to prop up the currency's value.
• A record number of Major's cabinet colleagues and senior Tory figures including Jeffery Archer, Neil Hamilton and Jonathan Aitken were convicted of a range of dishonesty charges including fraud and perjury
• Less important but notable series of sex scandals involving David Mellor, the Earl of Caithness, David Ashby, Alan Amos, Tim Yeo and Michael Brown. Hardly a week wenk by without some article or another about weird ugly Tory Mp's and their kinky fetishes.
• Sleeze reached a climax with the introduction of an almost never-ending series of quangos, loaded with Tory yes-men busy feathering their nests at the public's expense.

And what policy initiative is Major best remembered for by Joe Public?

A traffic cones "Hotline"

...return to the present

...and let's think TWICE before voting for EITHER tory or labour in the next election...

Lib Dem, Green, UKIP, independent - whatever is available in your electorate, let's make sure that we all do our best to knobble this crazy, corrupt and hypocritical party bolitics!